BETH
Maybe that’s my prince, and he’ll take me away from all this.(Beth exits to the outer office, then soon returns)
Rod, I think we have a hot one. And she looks loaded.
(Rod points to bottle)
You’re impossible.(Shakes head and walks out of room mumbling.)
Be nice, Rod. Lick her damn boots, if necessary.
ROD
(Trying to regain his cool, Rod steps out from behind his desk and stares. Their eyes lock. Not a word is spoken, but we hear Rod’s voice as he sizes up the beautiful visitor)
ROD
I sniff trouble. Miss high and mighty all wrapped up in fur. Long legs, go all the way up and made an ass out of themselves. Just full of herself...all Kibble and Tits. Expensive collar. Manicured nails. A great dog dew, probably from one of them high priced groomers. If I were smart, I'd tell her to take a walk. But, who knows, maybe, there could be something here. Ah, who am I kidding? What would a classy dame like this want with an old stud like me? Been around the block, more than a few times. Just a frequent sire with lots of miles on me.(The lady lowers her eyes and glances nervously as Rod’s “Red Rover” pops out)
So I gave my pet a name. I remember making a list of contenders like “Red Menace”, “Slide Tromboner”, “Red Butler”, “Ram Rod” and finally “Red Rover”. It also was the name of a game that we used to play. “Red Rover, Red Rover, let Dutchess come over. Then I would grab Dutchess and… Red Rover’s first piece of tail.
BABETTE
Stuff it Rod Weiler, I'm here for business. My name is Babette deBeagle.ROD
(Regaining composure)Babette deBeagle? Wife of the famous movie director, Cecil deBeagle?
BABETTE
Yes, we got hitched last year. You've got to help me. I'll pay you very well. I've got plenty of...ROD
Scratch?BABETTE
Yes, scratch
ROD
...and you're just itching to give it away, right? Well, my fee is a hundred an hour...plus expenses.BABETTE
That's a lot of biscuits, but I hear that you're the best private eye dog in Collywood.(Glances around the room)
Although you'd never know from these digs. Rod, can I trust you to be discreet? My husband is a public personality and the wrong kind of publicity could be damaging.
(Rod walks around his desk and faces Babette. He reaches out to hold her, hesitates then picks up the glass of booze and hands it to her)
ROD
Here, take this. Lap it up.BABETTE
(Takes a few laps, sighs.)I'm sorry, but you have no idea what kind of dog he is.
ROD
Yeah, his reputation is well known around Collywood. I understand that he's humped many a young, starstruck poodle.BABETTE
He treats them like toys, then tosses them away.ROD
That son of a bitch.(Rod picks up the glass and offers it again. She waves it off. Rod checks his watch, smiles, then downs the rest of the glass)
Ms. deBeagle...
BABETTE
Please call me Babette.ROD
Ok..Babette.....It doesn't sound like life with Cecil deBeagle is one big romp in the park. But, how can I help?BABETTE
When I met Cecil I was just a stray on the street. He promised me a way out and I grabbed it. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long to see what a rotten dog he was. But I swore that I would never return to the streets, scratching and begging for every meal. (Sighs) In spite of his faults, there was some good in Cecil. He would always share his food with me and he could be very gentle. But lately his behavior became bizarre. He would suddenly fly off in a distemper rage and snap at me if I so much let out a whimper.
ROD
Can you put your paw on a specific incident that might have set him off?BABETTE
I'm not sure, but his odd behavior started about the same time that he started work on his new film, "Return Of the Sea Dog".ROD
He’s going to do a remake of that old classic "Sea Dog" movie? With that vampy silent screen actress…what was her name?BABETTE
Clara Bow. And Rod, it's eerie, actually, unnatural, how he’s taken with this woman.ROD
She’s still alive?
BABETTE
In human years, she's ancient. That’s why I’m so shocked.ROD
It’s hard to believe that he would turn to an old relic like Clara Bow when he's got so much young tail at the studio.
BABETTE
Rod, I haven’t seen Cecil in over a week. I’ve called his office, but they haven’t heard a hair from him. I fear that something terrible has happened.(A flash of lightning fills the room. Rain starts beating against the window. There's silence in the room as Rod gazes into the frightened eyes of Babette deBeagle.)
Please Rod, help me? Whatever you dig up...no matter how awful it is, it's got to be better than the uncertainty that is now consuming me.
(More lightening and thunder and silence in the room)
