Goldie Hound

Collywood is shocked at announcement by producers of Fluffy the Vampire Slayer, that leading lady Goldie Hound will take over the part of Fluffy in the hit TV series. The original dimwit blond in Laugh In, Goldie has managed to elude the "old dog label" through a number of surgical procedures. Friend’s say that Goldie is riding high following a recent tush tuck

Gwyneth Bowtrow

You heard it here first. Oscur winner Gywneth Bowtrow and Mut Damon were caught in a late-night romp through the park in an off-leash area. A panting Bowtrow denied rumors that the pair was planning to get hitched. "Mut and I are just plutotonic friends", she insisted.

Prince of Tails

From across the big pond, a royal scoop. Charles, the Prince of Tails escorted his long-time companion Carmela Barker Bowls home following dinner at the exclusive Westminster Club. Sources say that the Prince emerged three days later with his tail dragging. It’s reported that the Queenie Mum, in a distemper rage, threatened to crown the Prince.

Chew Grrant

In the "old habits are hard to break" category, English leading actor Chew Grrant was caught once again humping a Collywood hooker. Grrant’s career was threatened several years ago when he was charged with committing a lewd act with Divine Brownie, a hooker who went on to appear in the movie, Taken for Grranted. Grrant denies knowing that the latest hooker was a transvestbite. Yo, Chew, didn’t you notice that the plumbing was different?

Clintintin

Here’s a story that won’t go away. It comes from a recent interview that evening Anchor Dog Chet Muttley had with Mongrel Lewinsky. By now, the whole world knows that Mongrel would sneak under Clintintin’s desk and get her licks in. Now, the story comes out that the supposedly passive Clintintin turned the table on Lewinsky and got his licks intern. Lick and tell, shame on you Mongrel.

Claudia Sniffer

Super model, Claudia Sniffer, agreed to reveal all in a Playdog spread, says Chew Hefner, Playdog publisher. It will be full underneath nudity, says Sniffer. I want the world to see that I’m not just a pretty face. Close buds to ex-squeeze David Cockerfield, say that she’ll reveal more than Cockerfield ever got to see. Is it true that their relationship was nothing more than an illusion?

Sock Puppet

Handlers for Sock Puppet had a scare when Sock failed to show for an interview with this reporter. The popular Sock Puppet was last seen at Pierre's Grooming Salon. Collywood PD was called into Investigate,but an alert employee found Sock tucked in a dryer. "No sweat", Sock quipped, but he was obviously shaken by the ordeal since he had recently lost his mate in a Mayway dryer.